


Cursed Love

by Sophia_M893



Series: The Destined Change [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments (Movies)
Genre: Action & Romance, Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, M/M, Multi, Parabatai, Royalty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-11
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-01-31 22:20:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12691326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sophia_M893/pseuds/Sophia_M893
Summary: "Allie has gone missing…!""Everyone's on high alert 'cause an alarm was triggered…""It's code silver…""The princess has gone missing…"Join Lissa Graymark, the Princess of Idris on the next part of her journey.Surviving has just gotten all the more harder.





	1. Disclaimer

 

**Hey guys!**

**I don't own the Shadowhunters.**

**That belongs to the executive producers of the show, Ed Decter, Todd Slavkin and Darren Swimmer.**

**The Mortal Instruments Plot belongs to Cassandra Clare.**

**The Characters belong to her too...**

**However, Lily/Lissa belongs to me and so do the other plot changes!**

**Other than that... Enjoy!**

 

**I would like to thank…**

**[Impala](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Impala), [FanOfPiPercy](http://archiveofourown.org/users/FanOfPiPercy), [Casperwolf](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Casperwolf), [marvelmaximoffs](http://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelmaximoffs), [Soccer_Bitch](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Soccer_Bitch), [BeccaLeigh](http://archiveofourown.org/users/BeccaLeigh), [hodhod2011danger](http://archiveofourown.org/users/hodhod2011danger), and [voletta97](http://archiveofourown.org/users/voletta97) as well as 22 guests**

**… who left kudos on the previous book.**

**&**

**[marvelmaximoffs](http://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelmaximoffs/pseuds/marvelmaximoffs) and [Casperwolf](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Casperwolf/pseuds/Casperwolf) for leaving reviews.**

**…so for all you guys…**

 

 **Welcome to the second book of**  The Destined Change **Series.  
The book after **[Meant To Be?](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7741909)

**I hope you guys enjoy this after the first book…**


	2. That's Impossible…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's take a peak into what Jace is thinking right now…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **If you really love this fanfic and the one before, you may have noticed how some bits are basically the same as the last chapter of Meant To Be.**   
>    
>  **Well done for noticing and before you ask there is a reason for that…**
> 
> **Anyone know why?  
>  Comment/Review if you know why and you'll get the first sneak peak of the next chapter…**

[ _**Jace Wayland** _ ](http://66.media.tumblr.com/ee65a5f754d13e04ff9d437cd0d08c7c/tumblr_o3kifhxGR91usjxweo2_500.gif)

_Have you ever gone through that moment in your life where everything[stops](https://freeformapps.blob.core.windows.net/freeform/shadowhunters/2016/119/784dc716-5ab4-4453-a775-6a0bb22e83a6.png) because something is missing?_

_Not something you can touch, see, smell or hear._

_Something you can feel deep within your bones; tugging and moving every single molecule within your body, urging you to realise something was different._

_Something had changed._

_And that something was wrong._

_No?_

_Well, I guess you’re about to see my moment._

"Allie has gone missing…!"

"Everyone's on high alert cause an alarm was triggered…"

"It's code **silver** …"

"The princess has gone missing…"

* * *

" ** _MISSING!?_**  How could she possibly be missing!!!”

“Look Jace” Izzy said soothing, “We don’t know. That’s the only thing mom told us. She didn’t inform us of anything else.”

That didn’t placate me, “How could she even go missing with most of the Clave in the same bloody building as her?!”

Alec growled out in annoyance, “We _don’t know_ Jace. Stop asking questions we don’t know the answer to!”

I ignored him and hurtled on with my questions, “Doesn’t she have guards? Where were they when she went missing? Don’t they have a tracker on her or something? Why isn’t anything being done?”

“ **Oh-** _kay_. Jace. _Shut up.”_ Alec hissed causing me to finally close my mouth. “Magnus did all he could to track her but something is blocking his signal. The Clave have already sent out batches of shadowhunters to find her but she’s not in any of the known places we know about or the ones Clary has told them to search. So don’t say that we’re not doing anything!” 

Izzy sighed sadly, “It’s as if she’s just disappeared off the face of the Earth. It’s worse, cause the cup is missing, I think" she said as an afterthought before hastily continuing, refusing to linger on all the bad news hitting us in the face at once, "…and the current head of the Institute was attacked.”

Clary, being the caring person she is decided to interrupt the conversation, “How’s Lydia?” 

We all looked at her strangely before Alec decided to indulge her and replied, “Better. Magnus is doing what he can to help her, but it's bad. And the Cup is definitely missing.” he said as an after thought. 

I inhaled deeply before informing her, “So is Hodge.” 

“Maybe he was attacked, too.” Izzy said hopefully as she clicked away on the computer in front of us. 

Clary ruined that hope by giving us her own opinion, “Maybe he's the one who attacked her.” 

[Izzy](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/2pta3FDjf6Y/maxresdefault.jpg) quickly defended our missing mentor, “Hodge? No way. We've known him our entire lives. He would never do that to us.” 

Our gazes turned towards the monitor as the CCTV footage of the institute was fast forwarded. Izzy stopped the video to just before Lydia was attacked. I leant forward, hoping to see a distinct image of who attacked her as Izzy played the footage at normal speed.

_Is that?_

_No._

_**Hodge!**  That son of a bitch. We trusted him._

I seethed silently as I watched Hodge grab the cup. “I led him right to the Cup.” 

“We treated him like family." Alec spoke with an incredulous voice, "How could he do this to us?” 

Izzy sped up the video and clicked on another square on the screen. This time we were following Lissa. I watched as she turned around as Clary ran up to her. They hugged before beginning a conversation. 

“You were with her last before she was kidnapped!” Alec growled out to the petite girl beside him.

Clary glared at him and argued, “I didn’t realise I was the last one with her!” she waved her hand around angrily, “I figured she was with other people after our conversation” she then pointed at Alec, “And before you ask, no I’m not a spy for Valentine.”

I sighed, _I hope they don’t start arguing again._

Alec surprised me by nodding his head in acceptance and turning to watch the footage again. Lissa seemed to be near enough her room now. She had a [beautiful smile](http://umad.com/img/2016/9/alexis-bledel-smile-wallpaper-17559-18104-hd-wallpapers.jpg) on her face.

_I guess if everything was finally perfect in my life, I’d smile that way too._

_She finally made up with Clary. Izzy is free from the Clave. Alec doesn't have to marry someone he doesn't love. Our bond has been restored._

_Everything is as it should be._

_Why did Hodge and my stupid father have to ruin everything!?_

I watched as she greeted shadowhunter after shadowhunter on her way to her room. _Why didn’t anyone say with her?_ She turned the corner onto an empty corridor. She had glided to at least half-way down the corridor before I noticed signs of movement. A shadow broke away from the darkness and made his way quickly behind her. _Hodge…_ I watched as he lifted the cup from his side, swiftly bringing it down to her head, causing he to collapse. 

Clary covered her mouth in shock as Izzy gasped out, “He used the object she was protecting to knock her out?! How dare he!!”

I continued to watch as Hodge picked up my parabatai bridal style. _[How](http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/mortalinstruments/images/6/64/TMI101_Jace01.png/revision/latest?cb=20160114151756) dare he even touch her! After what he did, he dares lay his dirty hands on my unfortunate parabatai. _ My old mentor looked from side to side before quickly limping into the shadows once more and disappearing.

“Where did he go?” Clary questioned.

Izzy then worked her magic once more and showed us Hodge in Jocelyn's room, “There he is and to answer your earlier question brother dearest… That's how."

Izzy sped forward to Hodge putting on a strange ring, Clary the question we were all asking, "What is that ring?" 

“Looks like he's talking to someone.” Izzy observed.

 _He was working with Valentine all along that traitor!_ “And I can bet who it is.” I growled out. 

“Valentine.” Clary voiced my thoughts out loud. 

Alec nodded his head slowly, _that's his 'I think I have an idea' face. He must have worked something out!_  “Well, that explains how he deactivated the Punishment rune, but it doesn't explain where he got the ring.” 

“You think someone smuggled it past the wards?” Clary asked curiously. 

“Maybe.” I replied curtly. I continued as I shared a look with Alec, “Hodge wasn't the only ex-Circle member around here.” 

Izzy sound around in her chair angrily to look at me, “Look, I know I don't always see eye to eye with my parents, but I know they're not traitors.” 

I spoke up incredulously as I nodded towards the surveillance video, “Really? Isn't that what you just said about Hodge? It'd have to be someone we trusted, but if there was an intruder inside the Institute, we would have found them by now.” 

Clary gasped lightly beside Alec before speaking up, “What about the Forsaken attack?” 

“No. We killed that thing, and I didn't see a ring.” Alec dismissed the idea immediately. 

Izzy however pondered more on the idea and her fingers were once again whizzing across the keyboard, “He didn't have one during the autopsy, but… maybe there's something in the footage.” Izzy fast-forwarded the video as we watched the Forsaken on the screen. 

“Go to the other camera.” Alec commanded. 

I spoke up to stop the video, “There.” Izzy zoomed in on Hodge’s hands before playing the video. We watched as Hodge grabbed the ring from the Forsaken.

“So, it wasn't a random attack.” Clary spoke up angrily. 

“He was just the delivery boy.” I spat out. 

[Alec](http://data.whicdn.com/images/224187466/large.jpg) then decided to explain the nasty situation we already knew we were in, “If he gives that Cup and the Heir to Valentine, he'll create an army of Shadowhunters. Without the Heir the shadowhunters can’t be made but he has both now… or soon enough at least. With that kind of power behind him, he'll kill thousands.” 

Izzy shook her head sadly, “He’ll kill thousands just creating the army. Most mundanes won't survive that.” 

Clary determinedly said, “We won't let that happen.” 

“I'm gonna make sure of it.” I vowed out loud.

_And I promise that I’ll find you, Lissa._

_After this, I promise that we won’t ever be separated again…_

I strode away to get ready for our **_my_** new mission.

* * *

I grabbed a seraph blade from the rack and watched as it lit up with an ethereal glow. Alec was behind me, preparing the rest of the weapons we needed.

I heard footsteps enter the room as I headed back to Alec. I handed him his bow as Clary interrupted us.

 _What is she still dong in her dress from the wedding?_ I shook my head of my thoughts,  _Focus. You need to rescue Lissa not focus on trivial matters such as Clary's dress._

“Jace, what are you doing?” 

_Isn’t it obvious what I’m doing?_

“Every second we waste here, Hodge gets closer to Valentine.” 

Clary stammered out her respose, “Wha- Hey, we're a team, all right?” [She put her hands](https://freeformapps.blob.core.windows.net/freeform/shadowhunters/2016/96/838c3d20-23bf-4711-85a2-b1e4e5579be4.png) on the table and leant on them as Alec went to grab more weapons, “I know you're mad right now, but Hodge could be dangerous.” 

I looked up at her, “Two of us, one of him. Check the math, but I'm pretty sure he's outnumbered.’ 

“What is with you?” she hissed angrily at me as I looked away from her. “Would you just talk to me for a second?” 

“Lydia…” I snapped at her. “Hodge…” and I looked down mournfully as I said the next name, “Lissa…” I stopped talking for a second to gather myself, “All this is happening because I didn't stop Valentine.” 

Clary tried to make me look at her in the eye again, “Jace, you cannot let emotions cloud your judgment. Your words, remember?” _Why is she using my words against me! I hate when people do that…_ I took deep breath as I shared a look with Alec, “When I first wanted to find my mom, I didn't care about anyone else. But you were the one that taught me that it's about a world that's bigger than us.”

I looked at her with an annoyed looked, “That’s why you need to wake her up. She was his prisoner… and his wife. If anyone can stop him, she can.” 

“Jace, listen to me…”

 _Errrr. I don’t want to listen anymore._ “You can do this.” I cut her off. 

“Maybe I can. But it's not about me, it's you I'm worried about.” she argued back.

“Well I’m worried about Allie right now…” Alec murmured on the side.

_Me too. That’s why I’m trying to leave as soon as possible but_ **_she_ ** _won’t let me!_

I grabbed my weapons as Alec went to do the same, “You cannot let Valentine's evil poison you!” 

“He's my father.” I told her softly. 

“Actually… he's our father.”

 _Ewww. You don’t need to remind me. Ugh. I’m sick man! I kissed my own_ ** _sister_** _!_  

I shook my head at her ignorance, “You don't get it.” I started to walk out of the room as I heard her sigh from behind me, giving up on trying.  _Lissa wouldn't have given up. She'd have pestered me or given me her puppy dog eyes until I had gave in._

Alec followed soon after, “Jace…” I turned around to give him my attention, “How are we gonna find Hodge? He didn't leave anything we can track. I might be able to ask Magnus for help.” 

_Good question but I’ve already thought about what we gotta do._

I took my phone out and dialled a number before [shaking my head](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/55/cb/91/55cb91df64102695ccfc1eaef95e2c1b.jpg), “You need to stop thinking with your stele, Alec. There's more than one way to track.” 

Luke soon answered the phone, “This is my fault.” I had him sigh heavily over the phone, “He took my niece and he just walked right past me as if nothing was wrong Jace!” 

“Look if you had known then you would have stopped him.” I placated him.

Luke responded, “Yeah, if I'd have known…”

I interrupted him, “Can you get your pack to hunt Hodge down and then come meet us?” 

“Yeah, I'll be right there.” Luke replied before hanging up the phone.

I turned to Alec, “You ready to hunt him down.”

“Anything for Allie” Alec replied.I nodded in agreement, “For Lissa.” and we ran out of the institute to start hunting our mentor down. 

* * *

I must have been in some kind of skateboarding park. I saw the back of Hodge’s blonde head as he was hiding from the werewolves that found him.

I crept up on him as he turned away from the fleeing werewolf.

He was going to turn towards me but I hurried forward, grabbing his arm and spinning him around. I pushed him back towards the pillar he was hiding behind and held him there, “Where is _it_? Where is **_she_**?” 

“Jace… I'm afraid you're too late. Valentine already has the Cup.” he gave me a shallow smirk, “and **the girl** too…” 

Hodge pushed me away from him but in retaliation I punched his stomach before going to punch his face. He caught my fist and pushed his other hand in my stomach. He swung me in the direction of the pillar but I just used the momentum to run up the wall before kicking off into a flip so I landed behind him. I kicked him back towards the pillar.

I began to prowl towards him as I yelled, “How could you?”

Hodge panted as he pushed his back off the wall. 

We began circling each other, “It was the only way to earn my freedom” he held his hand out and pointed towards me with a glare, “I'd been caged long enough.” 

“Caged?” I walked towards him, “You were our teacher. We treated you like family. We **loved** _you!_ ” 

“Family?” he said in an incredulous voice, “ _Family?_ The Lightwoods cut a deal, Jace, to have me punished for crimes that they themselves committed.” he pointed to his brain in a shaky manner,  “Don't you see? I was their prisoner! And besides…" he said with a dark smirk, "…let's be real for a moment. You can't win.” he chuckled darkly, “I taught you everything you know.” 

With a quick slashing motion across his body, he brought out his weapon of choice. The chakram.

[In return](https://freeformapps.blob.core.windows.net/freeform/shadowhunters/2016/97/3e8549b4-cd54-48f6-b5d2-d772510133b1.png), I spun my double sided blade into existence. 

“Not everything, Hodge.” he nodded in mock acceptance.

I attacked first.

Soon enough it was a blur of movement from my blade and his chakram. Yells and groans were exchanged as we hit each other with our weapons.

I disarmed one of his chakram as he made me drop my blade. He went for my head so I ducked and punched his stomach, causing him to double over. He went for my arm but I blocked him and punched his face. I punched his face again and then head butted him. I whacked his face and he rolled down one of the ramps. I flipped over the ramp after him as he backflipped away from the seraph blade that I pulled out from my pocket. We exchanged more blows until eventually, I punched him to the ground. He lay with one arm outstretched, holding his remain chakram.

_I don’t regret what I did next._

[I](http://49.media.tumblr.com/58bb12ac4de3ec6d1dedb715120e6110/tumblr_o56u5xG9921urdwd4o1_500.gif) cut his hand off.

Hodge writhed in pain on the floor as I went to deliver the final blow.

Before I could do that, someone tackled me to the ground.

_Alec._

He held me to the ground as I struggled to free myself, “It’s over!” 

“It's not over. He's a traitor. He deserves to _pay._ ” I argued vehemently. 

Alec shook his head in disappointment and irritation, “You nearly killed him!”

“Maybe I should've killed him!” I argued back, “He sided with _Valentine_ , Alec." giving him a dark look, "The Clave let him go once before and look where that got us.” 

Alec continued to try and make me see reason, “What are you gonna do? You're gonna kill every ex-Circle member, even our parents?” 

“Robert and Maryse aren't my parents.” he tightened his grip on me.

“You said it yourself. They raised you. They are your parents!” he released me before patting my chest in reassurance, “Just calm down.” 

Luke spoke to Hodge behind us, “There’s a dungeon in Idris with your name written all over it.” 

Alec walked over to Hodge and used his stele to help heal the traitor’s wound. 

I heard flesh sizzling despite my ex-mentor’s screams of agony. 

I turned to the side, only to see said man’s hand that held a ring. I yanked the ring off and threw the hand away. I walked away from everyone else and put the ring on. I turned back towards the others as I heard a shimmer from behind me.

“It’s good to see you, Jonathan.” I spun around at my _father_ ’s voice. “I've been expecting you.” he smiled knowingly before continuing, “I figured you'd find Starkweather. I've trained you well.” 

I shook my head in denial, “You don't know me.” 

“I raised you.” _Don’t remind me._ “We're not so different, you and I.” 

[I](https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JQqOR6PF3Ro/VwQAbB3bBLI/AAAAAAABYeE/23htNmZ41YIoL0fHOkXZWysBPQX5MD_ig/s640/Untitled-1.jpg) let my head drop in shame as the news hit me. _It couldn’t possibly be true. Right?_ “Hodge had it coming. You kill innocent people. I'd never do that.” 

He smiled at me, “Not yet.” he paused for dramatic effect, “But it's all a matter of time. The Clave has failed us. They've failed all of humanity, but… you knew that as well as I did. Every day, the demons get stronger, and soon… there won't be enough Shadowhunters to fight back. The Cup can change that.” 

“The Cup destroys more than it creates. Our job is to protect the mundanes, not to kill them.” 

“Well, losses are acceptable when the alternative is extinction.” he smiled at me as if he was going to tell me a secret. “Plus, I have the Heir with me. In her hands, she can create as many Shadowhunters as she wants.” I growled at the reminder that he held Lissa captive. “But come with me.” he whispered in a conspiring way, “Together we can use the Mortal Cup to save the world.” 

I smiled maliciously at him, “Oh, I am coming for you. We have unfinished business.”I pulled the ring off and his image disappeared.

* * *

Luke was on the phone with someone for a while. I saw movement from the corner of my eye and I watched as Alec walked towards the werewolf on the phone.

They were talking away from Hodge and I.

_Probably talking about me to be honest._

They had their backs turned from Hodge and I, giving me a perfect opportunity to slip away from them with the prisoner in tow.

I was in an empty warehouse with the traitor, when my phone began to ring. I kept my eye on him as I took my phone from pocket. I briefly glanced at the name, to see who it was, found that it was Alec answered the phone with a sigh.

“Where the hell are you?” Alec immediately asked. 

_It’s a bit obvious where I’m going Alec._

“I’m going after Valentine. Go help Clary.” 

Alec scoffed, “You're acting crazy. All right? Whatever Valentine's telling you, it's not true.” 

“That's just it, Alec. It is true. He's my father. He taught me how to fight. Not to be weak.” 

“You can't let him control you like this. This isn't you!” 

I interrupted him, “It is me. It's always been me. He raised me to be a killer. Now I'm gonna make him regret it. Go help Clary. She needs you.” 

 _I can imagine the face he’s making right now. Probably shocked and angry._ “No. No. No, no. You don't have to do this. All right?” he was stuttering now, “You're not a…” I hung up before he could begin changing my mind. 

I turned my gaze towards my prisoner. He shuddered as he held my glare. “Where’s Valentine?” 

He trembled before saying, “Why don't you ask him yourself? I saw you take the ring.” 

 _Does he think I’m an idiot?_ “And walk into a trap? I don't think so.” 

I chuckled softly.

_He really has no idea who he’s dealing with…_

I grabbed his stump that used to be his hand, causing him to scream in agony. 

“Tell me what I need to know…” I wiped my hand that was drenched with his blood on his coat, “…or you're gonna lose the other hand… one finger at a time.” 

He gave me a glare as he panted in exhaustion. “You're just like your father.”

“Then you know how slow your death will be if you don't answer my questions." I threatened. He was breathing heavily in an attempt to catch his breath. I wouldn’t give him that luxury, “Where's Valentine and Lissa?”

"Jace?" I heard a voice ask from behind me.

I spun around and saw [my beloved parabatai](http://cdn.girlhdwalls.com/wallpapers/alexis-bledel/alexis-bledel-2141-2560x1440.jpg). _How is she here?_ I whispered, “Lissa?”, hoping not to break the sight in front of me, otherwise I may loose her again. This time for forever.

She seemed to nod in confusion before then rushing into my arms.

I sobbed in relief as I felt her warm body against me.

_She’s here. She’s really **here.**_

"Jace. I'm here…" she cooed softly into my ear.

"But how?"

"I was sleeping in my cell when I must have astral projected myself here."

"Cell? That bastard is keeping you in a cell…" I vented.

"Shhhh. Shhhh. It's okay sweetie. I'm gonna be okay. I'll be okay as long as you are safe. You can't go down this path Jace. No matter what happens, promise me you won't stray from your destiny."

"Destiny? What destiny? That man raised me to kill. That's my destiny."

"You are meant for so much more Jace…" she promised.

She gave me a light kiss on the cheek.

"I'm being pulled back Jace. I am gonna miss you.” she said softly.

I grew desperate, ”Please don't go!"

"I trust you Jace. You'll save me. I know you will." she said with a confident smile before she began to fade away.

* * *

I had managed to _‘convince’_ Hodge to tell me where he last saw Valentine.

That’s where we are now.

At the dock’s.

The sun had risen once again and light burned down on me as I pushed Hodge in front of me.

I yanked his hair backwards and his spine curved to accommodate his change in position.

“Where is he?” I questioned as he groaned in pain. 

“He was here.” he replied quietly.

 _That wasn’t good enough._ _“_ WHERE IS **_HE?!_** _”_ I yelled in annoyance. _I’m running out of time and I need to find Lissa._

“I don't know, he was here!” he cried through his gritted teeth. 

[I pushed him](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/nok8C2uCUBk/maxresdefault.jpg) against one of the cargo holds. _I don’t even care what happens to him. He’s not worth it._

I grabbed the ring from my pocket and put it on my finger. I looked around, waiting for my father to appear in front of me.

“Ah, Jonathan. To what do I owe this surprise?” his apparition asked. 

“I've reconsidered your offer.” I growled out in frustration. 

 He was smiling mockingly at me again, “First you want to kill me, then you want to join me. Seems a bit convenient, don't you think?” 

“Do you want to meet me or not?” 

“Yes. But on my terms, not yours. 'Cause I've taught you better than this. Always strike where your opponent is vulnerable.” My mouth twitched in irritation as the familiar words washed over me. “See, fighting you directly could prove… difficult. But your friends…” my eyes twitched at the mention of my loved ones. “Well, your friends are a different matter. Especially that pretty parabatai of yours…” with a malicious laugh his imagine [disappeared. ](http://www.oblogdamari.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Shadowhunters-3.jpg)

I stepped towards where he used to be. _He can’t go after them. They’ve already gone through enough. And Lissa can’t go through anything else. I promised to protect her._

I grabbed my phone from my pocket and immediately called Clary. I walked around the compound as I waited for her to answer. 

“Pick up. Come on, pick up.” but I was only greeted with the voicemail. 

“You've reached Clary's phone. I'm not here, but you know the deal.” 

“Damn it. Where are you?” I questioned. 

“…Leave one at the beep.” her voicemail concluded. 

“Clary, call me as soon as you get this.” I said before hanging up and attempting to contact her again.

After like the fifteenth call she finally answered.

“Jace? Are you okay?” she asked kindly. _This isn’t the time._

“Where are you?” I questioned curtly as I hurried though the streets - hopefully in the direction where she was. 

She then revealed her location, “At Camille's apartment, Upper East Side. Alucard building, 13th floor.” 

I guess being blunt would be best choice for the moment, “You’re in danger." I heard her gasp in shock, causing me to roll my eyes slightly, _you've been in danger the whole time, this shouldn't be a surprise._  "Valentine's probably already on the way. You need to leave, now.” 

But being the stubborn person she is, “We are so close to finding the Book of the White. I'm not leaving without it.” _Errr. I hate when she’s like this._  

“Clary, you need to leave!” I argued as I stopped walking. 

“You said yourself, we have to stay on mission.”

 _Like I said, I hate when people use my own words against me._  

“You need to leave **now**.” 

“I can’t." she said before hanging up. “Clary. _Clary!_ ” I hate when people hang up on me. “Damn it.”

* * *

[I ran](http://fangirlish.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/141044_1752.jpg) through the streets.

_I need to get there in time. I need to help them. They’re my family. What if Lissa’s there with Valentine. What would I do? What if he makes me choose between them Would I choose Lissa over the others or would I pick the others? This could be life or death._

_Life for Lissa over the death of the others or vice versa._

_He wouldn’t make me choose would he? Of course he would. That’s how he is. Evil._

_There it is._

_Alucard building, Upper East Side._

_I need to get on to the thirteenth floor._

_Lift or stairs?_

_Lift would surely be quicker?_

I quickly entered the elevator and clicked the button indicating the thirteenth floor.

I tapped my foot in irritation as I listened to the elevator music, Stayin’ Alive. _What kind of elevator music is this?_ **(A/N: Anyone know this reference?)**

I soon arrived on the 13th floor.

I faintly heard Simon valiantly yell, “Stay away from her!" as I ran to the room they were in.

_Who is he holding at sword point? Lissa…?_

I heard Izzy shout, "Simon!" as I reached the room.

I came across Simon on the floor beside Lissa. They were both being held at sword point.

Valentine seemed to go to stab Simon but I quickly screamed, “STOP!" grabbing everyone’s attention as I pointed my seraph blade at Valentine. _Holy Angel. I hope no one gets killed because of me._

"Jace…" I heard [Lissa ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/c9/00/6e/c9006eb6703d7cd8beea97e0056ed201.jpg)whisper in relief.

_She’s safe._

"This time you're not getting away.” I vowed.

Shadowhunters that I didn’t recognise - they were probably the ones that Valentine had Lissa make - picked Izzy and Simon off the floor and held seraph blades to their necks. Clary was in front of her father gazing at us in fear as Lissa remained on the floor with said man’s seraph blade aimed at her neck.

"Finally ready to kill your own father?" he asked sarcastically.

"You abandoned me." I gruffly said.

"I was protecting you. You weren't ready then, but you've grown. You've become the warrior I've trained you to be."

"You trained me well." I grudgingly agreed with a nod.

"And yet, I still have so much to teach you. I brought you here for a reason. Look, fight me, and watch your friends die." Alec and Magnus were pushed into the room with blades at their necks. 

_They're alive at least…_

Valentine took steps towards me as he said, “See, you are strong, but they make you weak.” 

I looked around at all my loved ones. _Alec, the brother I always wanted. Izzy, the sister that always annoyed me. Clary, my actual sister that I once loved. Ugh. Doesn’t get any better. Even Simon, the mundane turned vampire who’s always gonna be a pest to me, a trustworthy pest though. Finally,[Lissa…](http://s142.photobucket.com/user/anettbianka/media/alexis/AlexisIRF_001.png.html) The one person in the world that I can always count on the most. What do I do?_

Clary interrupted my thoughts, “Let us go. You can have the book. We won't be able to stop you without it. But we get Lily back." Valentine turned back to look at his daughter.

"Ah, Clarissa." he sighed happily before stepping towards her. _Don’t stop any closer otherwise you’ll step on Lissa. At least when he was talking to me, she wasn’t held at sword point._ "So like your mother. Willing to do anything for those that you love. I'm touched, but… the book was never part of my plan. I want you to wake up your mother. I know that you'll both join me eventually.” Clary hugged the Book of the White to her chest, “It's fated."

Valentine turned back around to face me, "You ready?"

I looked at them all again. _I can’t put their lives in anymore danger_. I then turned my gaze on Lissa’s face as she was gazing at the others. _I need to keep her safe._ I put my seraph blade down as I continued to gaze at Lissa’s face, urging myself to remember every curve and edge. _I won’t see her for a while…_

I stepped towards my father as I said, “If I go with you… promise me you won't hurt them.” I looked down towards my parabatai, “And that you would let Lissa go…"

"You have my word on the first condition.” he said with a smirk before continuing smoothly, “I'm sorry to say I need the little princess for something else…"

"This is insane." Clary argued as Valentine yanked Lissa from the ground.

"I'm sorry, Clary." I said softly.

"Jace… what are you doing? You can't be serious!" Clary's eyes began to fill with tears as her voice began to break and she started to stutter, "Valentine is wrong. You're not like him. I'm not. You're not!"

I shook my head in response, "You don't know that, Clary. You don't know that."

"Let them go." Valentine ordered and everyone was released bar the princess in our company.

 _Back up. Didn’t he say earlier he wasn’t releasing Lissa? What’s he up to?_ “Wait. Lissa. Why aren't you releasing her as well?" I growled out in vexation.

"I need your parabatai for several things, one of which is the obvious, I can't use the Mortal Cup without her. The other reasons are for your well being…”

I spat back my rebuttal, ”My well being?” _Why would I need her near me? It’s safer for her to be away from me._ “I would prefer it if she was safe and away from the both of us."

"No. I need the cup's guardian and you need your parabatai." he smirked at the two of us before saying, "She needs to be with her future husband…"

"Husband?" I echoed incredulously, noticing that Lissa had the same response. _What the hell is he talking about?_ Lissa vocalised my thoughts, "What are you talking about?"

"The marriage contract. Your arranged marriage, Hodge told me you received the news already. At least now you don't have to find your husband-to-be. He's right here. In front of you. Go on… Reunite. You could do it later if you like, a more private place perhaps?" he said coyly.

[I fumed at his words. ](https://freeformapps.blob.core.windows.net/freeform/shadowhunters/2016/76/893f0492-2d28-41af-aed2-b8855d7ccea4.png) _He can’t possibly be telling the truth!_

Alec spoke up from behind us, "How did you know about the contract?"

"I was there when it was written, boy! I signed it after all…" he then laughed cruelly. _He loves causing everyone pain and confusion doesn’t he? He loves causing mayhem._ "Go on. From childhood friends to parabatai to lost friends and back to best friends. This is just another leap for your relationship… Now, why don't you show my dear daughter that your future is sealed?" 

Next thing I knew, my arms were full of Lissa. 

_Why did he have to throw her at me? What do I do now?!_

She was limp in my arms. Soon enough I began to feel tears soak through my shirt. _The stress of the situation must have just caught on her. Either that or she’s crying because she has to marry me. Or worst, she hates me now because of that fact._

I hugged Lissa tighter to my chest before cooing softly in her ear, “Shhh. It's gonna be okay Lissa. I'm gonna take care of you. I promise." I don’t know if she noticed or not but she started crying even harder at my words. _She must really hate me now…_ I started stroking her hair as a way to comfort her.

"Give your future bride a kiss Jonathan. Seal the deal, so to speak. Show your darling little sister that you are moving on…" Lissa froze in my arms so I stopped my comforting efforts.

_Why did he have to do this? Why am I having to marry my best friend? It’s not the worst outcome in the world but we don’t love each other. If we loved each other then it'll be so much better._

_Well I do love her._

_I do._

_Ugh, already signs of our impending nuptials…_

_What I meant was that I’ve always loved her, but I’m not in love with her._

_And I’m pretty sure she feels the same._

I looked down at the girl in my arms. _She doesn’t deserve this._ Slowly, I put my hands up and positioned them on either side of her face. I pushed her face up lightly to make her look me in the eyes.

_I need to know if she hates me. I need to see her eyes to know how she feels._

**_Is this okay?_**  I mentally asked her. 

She shook her head and more tears began to cascade down her face. 

 ** _It's gonna be okay._**  I silently said.

_If I follow Valentine’s orders will she hate me even more than I know she does now… but if I don’t do this then he may just force us to kiss._

_No._

_I have to do this._

_For both of our sakes._  

I carefully leant down, all the while looking her in the eyes before [gently](http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/wwfeatures/wm/live/1280_640/images/live/p0/2w/z7/p02wz7mw.jpg) placing my lips on hers.

She remained frozen beneath me. But oddly enough, her lips were still warm. The caress of her lips were softer than I thought they’d be. _I don’t know why she did what she did next. Maybe it was because she felt threatened by Valentine… Or maybe she liked this? Thinking back to her reaction about our future marriage made me remove that thought from my head._ She began to tentatively respond to my kiss. My hands moved so one was in her hair and the other was on her waist. My tongue gently licked her bottom lip. _Vanilla. Who would have thought…_ Suddenly, she started crying harder. _What’s happened now? Ohh. Maybe she’s ashamed of the fact that she’s responding to my kiss. I should stop soon. Surely, Valentine is happy now._

I did that soon after.

I placed my forehead on hers before bringing my hands on either side of her face once again, this time to wipe away her fallen tears.

I gave her a shaky smile.

_It’ll be okay._

Valentine’s cheer soon broke the moment, "I knew you two would be a good match when I saw the two of you together…” _This was wrong. We’re best friends and nothing more. I loved another girl less than week ago. But why did it feel so right?_

I quickly pulled Lissa tighter towards me before letting her go and pointing my seraph blade at Izzy and my hand at Alec as they began to approach us. Out of her own volition, the angel that I kissed moments ago wrapped her tiny arms around my figure with her hands tightly clenching my jacket.

_I would say that this was cute if I actually used the word and if we weren't in this situation._

"Get back," I warned Alec but he ignored me, "…get back. Alec, I mean it." I cautioned as they continued to walk froward.

My head was still in a daze from the kiss I received from the shadowhunter in my arms.

I didn’t even realise that Valentine had opened another portal or that his minions were already leaving. All I saw was my friends looks of betrayal and utter despair.

"[Jace.](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/13/5f/c7/135fc70e4117757268dd02eb160a26c2.jpg) Lily…" Clary brokenly said. 

I ignored her and kept my focus on other things.

 _It’ll be okay. As long as I keep Lissa safe, then everything is okay._  

I was startled as Valentine grabbed my sword arm.

I turned my attention towards him as he began to pull me towards the portal. With my other hand, I removed the hands Lissa used to clutch onto my jacket with a death grip, grabbing her left hand before tugging her away from everything we ever knew.

_It was as if everything was going in slow motion._

I watched as they began to surge forwards. Clary’s voice a mantra in my mind, "Jace…" "Lils…"

The last thing I saw before we stepped through was Alec holding Clary from jumping through the portal after us.

* * *

"[Join](http://tibs2.threeifbyspace.net/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Final-speech-113.jpg) me… and my son… And his future bride…" Valentine said with a smirk as he raised the mortal cup above his head. I stepped forward with Lissa, who was quivering in fear, in my arms.

_How did everything end up like this?_

"Pledge me your loyalty! Together… we can preserve our race and rid the world of the demons who plague it. You are the chosen ones. The new breed of Shadowhunters!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **_Hey guys,_ **
> 
> **_Thank you guys for being so patient._ **
> 
> **_Here is the edited version of the first chapter of_ **
> 
> _Cursed Love_
> 
> **_!!!!_ **


	3. That Much Needed Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Thanks to the guys who have stuck with me, despite my long sabbatical from writing.**
> 
> **First year of sixth form took a larger toll than I thought it would and I made the decision to only start writing once exams have finished.**
> 
> **So in other words…**
> 
> I'm back!!!
> 
> **I think I'll be updating once every two weeks, in my next update I'll tell you guys further details…**
> 
> **:D**

[ _**Jace Wayland** _ ](https://68.media.tumblr.com/7a92c07af8cd04dbd98565ae10cc85ae/tumblr_inline_oisnuobbpz1rs035s_500.gif)

"Take her back to her _room_ …" I heard Valentine command before snatching my er- fiancé?

_I haven't formally proposed so that's not the right term. My intended? Betrothed?_ _Ugh. What do you call the person who has always been your best friend/parabatai before then turning into your future wife? You know what. I'll just stick to parabatai._  

He took my _parabatai_  from my arms.

"NO!" I shouted in alarm before grabbing her arm tightly, "I don't trust you with her."

He had the audacity to smirk at me.

"You don't trust me Jonathan?" I jerked my head as a response, "Very well." He gave the two of us a calculating look before seeming to make a decision, "She can stay in your room then."

_["What?!"](https://tenor.com/view/gilmore-girls-rory-gilmore-alexis-bledel-shocked-surprised-gif-5204255) _ we both exclaimed before giving the other a hasty look and then looking away again.

"Well. It will be the both your rooms now." _I hope my glare can pierce a hole through his skull,_ "Stop glaring at me Jonathan otherwise your bride can stay in her cell- I mean her old room."

_She was kept in a cell?_ "She is  _not_ my bride!" I replied hotly.

I felt her-  _Lissa. Her name is **Lissa**_ \- flinch by my side.

His eyebrow twitched upwards before he spoke again, "If she is not to be your wife, then you wouldn't mind if I threw her to the rest of the crew to have their merry way with her would you?"

"That is  ** _NOT WHAT I MEANT!_** " I barked out before cradling Lissa in my arms. "She will stay with me. And  **no one** will touch her bar me. Am I understood?  _Father?_ "

He smirked again before calling behind him, "Lead my son and the girl to their rooms."

A man stepped away from the other shadowhunters behind them and walked forwards. He walked passed Lissa and I. Valentine nodded towards the man, indicating for us to follow him. I began to edge away from the assembly, making sure Lissa was behind me, away from any possible danger. The man led us through a series of hallways. _This boat is too big to make an easy escape route. How can I help Lissa escape if I don't know the way out?_

Before long, the man led us to a door - the only door in the corridor. The man-with-no-name gestured towards the door before bowing his head down lowly and leaving.

We were left in a awkward silence, with my arm still cradling her towards me.

_Why does this have to be so awkward?_

I used my left hand - my free hand - to brush my hair away before coughing nervously and then gesturing towards the closed door.

"Shall we go inside?" I asked before cringing intensely at the sound of my own voice. I sound like a teenage boy going through puberty. My misfortune seemed to amuse her as the corner of her lips twitched upwards at the sound of my voice.

She reached out towards the doorknob and opened the door, allowing us to see…

A normal room.

With a bed. And a wardrobe. And a cabinet. And a desk.

Everything you would imagine in a regular room, but the only difference is that this room seemed to emit a sense of loneliness and despair.

Lissa seemed to feel the same thing as she shivered by my side.

We shuffled into the room and the door shut automatically behind us, leaving us in dim lighting. I reached out towards the light switch on the wall and flicked it on, allowing the naked light to shine on us.

Silence ensued once again.

Slowly, Lissa detached herself from my arms and moved away from me to sit on the bed. I found myself missing the feeling of her in my arms. 

_Snap out of it Jace. She is your best friend. Your **parabatai.** You can't start having lusty feelings towards her. She is yours to protect, not to lust over. It is **forbidden**!!!_

She patted the space beside her. I hesitated. She cocked an eyebrow at me, "I don't bite ya know."

I blushed.  _What is she doing to me? I never blush!_ I quickly moved to sit beside her.  _Great. Now I look eager to be in bed with her._

"We have to talk about what's happened and what is going to happen." We both spoke in a rush.

We shared a stare before she broke out into a fit of giggles, causing me to chuckle lightly.

I got up and headed towards the wardrobe. "We'll talk as soon as we get changed."

"Why can't we talk now?" she questioned lightly from behind me.

"You're probably not comfortable in that dress." I said with smirk, as I turned towards her, holding a pair of pyjamas, "After all you've been wearing the same thing for the pass couple of days."

She shook her head in annoyance, "Don't remind me."

I laughed at her adorable pout, "And you're gonna need a shower cause let me be frank, you smell."

"How kind of you…" she huffed.

"So top?" I asked as I lifted the shirt up, "Or bottom?" unfurling the pyjama bottoms and lifting them in the air for her to see.

She looked from the shirt to the bottoms to me in quick succession.

"I'm just kidding" I said with a smirk before throwing the shirt at her and heading into the bathroom.  **(AN: Anyone catch the reference?)**

I took a shower, enjoying the warm spray of water. I felt my muscles relax as I let everything slip away. I didn't leave the shower until my flesh was pink and slightly pruned. I left the room wearing my pyjama bottoms and the towel over my shoulder. I walked into the room to see Lissa, laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Here." I said before tossing the towel at her. She was caught off guard and didn't catch the towel before it landed on her face.

She gave a light scream before swatting the towel away, "Ew. Ew.  _Ew. **EW!**_ " She jumped from the bed before running at me. She jabbed my chest with her index finger, "Why did you do that?" She jabbed me again. "It's impolite to throw a wet towel on someone's face." She jabbed me once more. "Why aren't you wearing a shirt?"

Her voice trailed off before surveying my chest once again. I smirked down at her as she remained transfixed. We must have stood there for at least a minute before she soon snapped out of it and turned her beautiful eyes towards my face. She must have caught sight of my smirk because she blushed deeply before rushing to the bed to grab the shirt and towel and then running into the bathroom, locking the door being her, with my laugh following after her.

She too, took her time in the bathroom.  _To be fair, she's been wearing the same clothes since the_ _almost-wedding. And the last time she took a shower was- a while ago._

After what seemed to be hours, she exited the bathroom. Framed by white smoke that seemed to curl around her, she looked radiant in my [shirt](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/379146862359069095/). A shirt that just reached the middle of her tiny thighs. I never realised how delicate looking she was out of her shadowhunting gear.

_Snap out of it Jace._

I was laying on the left hand side of the giant bed, the furthest away from the bathroom and closest to the exit so when she ran from the bathroom and jumped on to the bed. She snuggled under the duvet, facing me. I got under the duvet and turned on to my side to face her. Our faces were so close together that I could feel her breath on my face.

"We do need to talk Jay," she whispered softly.

I nodded my head in agreement but my eyes stayed captivated on her lips.

"We will talk but not tonight." I reached over her to shut the lights before rolling on to my back. "We need to rest after the day we've had."

"More like after the several weeks we just experienced." she said with a sigh as she shut her eyes.

I chuckled darkly as the memories swarmed me, "Yeah." I looked to the side, towards her, "At least there was one thing that came out as good from this whole experience."

"Really?" she said sleepily, "What was it?"

I rolled onto my side to look at her face. She was fighting sleep now.

I gathered her tiny hands in my larger ones, "I got to re-meet you Lis." she smiled beautifully at me. Her eyes began to flutter shut as I whispered, "I'm never gonna regret seeing you again Alicia Graymark." I gave her hands a small kiss, "Goodnight Lissa." 

And with that my eyes shut and I drifted off to sleep, all the while, still holding her hands.

* * *

In the morning, I woke up to find Lissa in my arms, head resting above my heart. I didn't want to wake her so I laid there until she woke up. After an hour or so, she started shifting around. In the time leading to her consciousness, I had assembled a smirk on my face as I imagined the look of horror on her face when she woke up.

And a wonderful reaction she did give me.

She moaned at the sunlight that reached her eyes as she woke up. Her body stilled when she realised that she was lying on a body. She hesitantly trailed her eyes upwards to look at my smirking face. Her eyes widened in alarm before she yelped and jumped away from me, causing her to fall off the bed.

I howled with laughter as her head slowly rose from the side of the bed as she peaked at me with her adorable rosy red cheeks. 

She whimpered as she said, "Stop it. It's not funny." I continued to laugh. "Stop."

I just pulled her onto the bed and continued to poke her sides until she began giggling beside me.

We did have to stop and get ready in the end as my father's henchmen were ordered to come to our room to wake us up. We didn't get to have our talk as we were busy being kept a part or trained throughout the day until bed time.

I did notice that she became more solemn and silent outside our little room, which is why I made the effort to make her smile and laugh when we were together.

* * *

It has been 6 days since we got on this ship. We went through the same ritual every night. In the mornings, we always woke up in the same position. So after the third night, when we were getting ready to sleep, I tugged her towards me until she was in my arms. We've slept like that ever since.

The only annoying bit about the arrangement is that my  _father_ never invested in getting Lissa some clothes so she'd have to wear mine with a belt around her to make it look that it at least fits her. Men around the ship would ogle at her legs whenever they were exposed, causing me to want to throttle them. 

…

Anyway.

Last night… Things changed.

* * *

We were less tired tonight so we didn't go to sleep as quickly as we usually did. We were lying on the bed like the first night in this room: facing each other, so close together that we could feel the other's breath.

_I don't know why it happened. Why tonight rather than any of the previous nights?_

_Maybe it was because we'd gotten so comfortable with each other's presence. Maybe it was because after all this time, the tension peaked? I honest don't know why…_

"We have time to talk now." she said with a serious expression. I nodded absently as I stared at her lips once more.

"I just wanna test something first." 

_I can't. I can't. **I can't.** She's your parabatai. You're supposed to protect her. Nothing more. Nothing less. Protect her. Protect her. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I shouldn't do this. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. It's wrong. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. _

But I did.

With a brief sense of hesitation, I thought it over quickly before dismissing the thought.

I leant forward.

And… I kissed her.

Again.

She stared up at me in shock as my lips slowly began to move against hers.  _This is nice._ Her eyes fluttered shut as her hands began a trail upwards, towards my hair. I opened my eyes slightly, to see a look of peace on her face, gone was the tear-stained girl I kissed several days. Instead, there was a girl - almost a woman - who kissed me with a passion that I'd never experienced before. My hands were once again in her hair, tugging lightly so that her head remained angled towards me. She gasped, allowing me the opportunity to slither my tongue into her mouth. She was on her back now.  _How did that happen?_ Her hands now frantically roving over my back as my lips moved away from her delicious lips towards her neck, allowing us the relief of oxygen once more. I nipped her neck as she groaned before she tugged me back towards her lips.  _I could never get tired of this._ After a while, the kiss soon began to wane. I rested my forehead against hers, before giving light kisses on her nose, cheeks and lips. Her eyes blinked open to stare at me. Questions roamed her beautiful cerulean orbs but I dismissed them for a while as I stared at the angel beneath me.

I hadn't been this close to her in years.

Freckles dotted her nose. Her eyes a sea of blues, framed by her thick eyelashes. Cheeks tinged red. Lips swollen from the kiss, but still the natural pink they've always been.

She's "perfect." I thought.

Her cheeks turned a brighter pink as I realised that I said my thoughts aloud.

"Thank you." she murmured before looking me in the eye more confidently, "You promised me a talk." she rolled her eyes, "You promised several days ago."

I nodded in agreement, before rolling towards the left, laying on my back.

We stayed in silence for a few moments before I sighed and sat up.

"Come on." I said lightly, as I turned towards her, "Get up. You're gonna get your talk." 

She sat up, but in doing so, made me realise how the shirt hugged her body. The sleeves of my shirt were loose and long on her but the swell of her breast could be seen hugging the shirt.

_You are not a lust-filled teenage boy. You are a trained shadowhunter. Control yourself!_

"Why did you kiss me?" she fired at me instantly, startling me from my thoughts.

"I-er…" she raised her eyebrow questioningly at my slight stutter.  _Man up._ "I wanted to see if we were compatible."

"And are- are we?" she asked with a slight wobble in her voice.

I thought over her question.

_Why wouldn't we be compatible? We kiss as if we've been doing it for years. We've known each_ _other for years. I **do** love her. I may not be **in** love with her. Yet. But I do love her. Maybe after some time… I may be in love with her. At the moment, she's all I've got from my old world. Even if we aren't together together, I'll be there for her._

"I don't see why not." I said with a smirk.

She seemed to sigh in relief, before leaping on me with a hug. I chuckled at her show of affection.  _I miss this._ I hugged her back with equal intensity and rested my head in the crook of her neck. 

"I don't know how we keep ending up like this." I said with a wry grin. She gave me a confused expression before indicating towards the position we were in, with her straddling my hips. She blushed and rushed to hurry away. I wrapped my arms around her, stopping her from leaving.

"This is inappropriate." she argued weakly as she tried to shuffle away.

I rolled my eyes before moving her so her legs were over one of my legs (I was sat with my legs criss crossed), her bum sat on my feet, and her waist cradled between my arms.

"Better?" I teased lightly before a serious expression invaded my features, causing her to lose her slight smile. "I don't love you." I said lightly, causing her to flinch and begin to shrink away, I held her closer to me and tilted her head to look her in the eye again, "At least not yet anyway." 

"I don't understand."

"Well." I softly said as I flicked her nose, causing her to scrunch it up, "I'm not in love with you Lissa. But I do love you." she cocked her head to the side, "I'm not in love with you but in time…" I paused to gather myself, "In time, I can see myself falling in love with you."

"Really?" she asked hopefully.

"Really." I commented lightly. "And what about you Lis?" I began stoking her hair, "Can you love me?"

She looked down and away from me for what seemed like years. Eventually she looked me in the eye. She didn't talk, only caressed my face softly. My eyes shut at the relaxing feeling. I felt her lean forward and give my left eyelid a kiss, "I", she then kissed my right eyelid, "think", she moved downwards and kissed my cheek, "I" she then trailed a kiss to the opposite kiss before whispering in my ear, "already" she finished the trail of kiss by giving the corner of my lips a light peck, "do."

At her words, I pushed her down against the bed before showering her with new kisses. _I've never felt so loved or given someone this much love. But to love is to destroy… Right?_ I ignored my thoughts and focused on the kiss. This time it was more light hearted rather than passion-filled like last time, which was still fine for me. _Any kiss from her is fine by me._

She soon pushed me away with a shake of her head, "Talk." I moved further away from her this time, so I wouldn't be tempted by her irresistible lips. But I kept a hold of her right hand.

"What do I talk about?" I asked.

"What do you think of our future nuptials?" she asked lightly.

I gave the back of her hand a light kiss before softly speaking, "I do love you Lis. It'll take time to get used to the idea of being forced to marry…" her head began to bow down so I flicked her pouty bottom lip, just like I did when we re-met each other, causing her to look up at me. 

"I don't get how this is going to work out though…"

"What do you mean?" I questioned.

She gestured between us, "We're parabatai. The only bond forbidden to the  _parabatai_  is the romantic bond. As upheld by the Clave and written into the Shadowhunter's Codex, bonded pairs must maintain the dignity of their warrior bond and must not allow it to transform into the earthly love, Eros."

"Did you quote that from a book?" I asked in shock. 

She giggled before shrugging. "Well I don't really know what will happen. Our betrothal contract is binding. Alec and I checked."

I nodded along, "But so is our bond as parabatai."

She looked thoughtful, "But we never did say our official vows in front of the Council."

_Huh._ "That's true but we still runed each other."

A familiar look took over her face. "Do you remember how mad my parents and your dad were when they found out that we had runed each other with the parabatai rune when we found it in that book?" _Yep! That's her I-have-an-idea-look!_

I laughed at the memory, "Yeah. They were pissed." Thinking back, "But Michael- er Valentine was absolutely furious."

She nodded eagerly, "Exactly by that time, they must have done the contract already and when he found out, he must have thought that the contract became null and void."

"He was plotting my future even back then. He wanted us to get married…" I felt my fury begin to bubble up again, "But why? What does he gain from it?"

She shrugged, "I don't know… he only seems to want power-." She seemed to get a breakthrough, "Power. He wants power."

"Yeah? And so what?" I replied, wanting to know what she figured out.

"What's a better way of gaining power than marrying his son to the Heir to the Throne of Idris." I looked at her, starting to get what she meant, "Then in later life after we've been married, we'd have children and the eldest…"

"…would be my child so he'd have power over him or her." I finished.

"Him." she cut me off. I looked at her confused. She blushed before murmuring, "I want a son as a first born."

I laughed, "So we're having a boy?" 

She swatted my arm, "Shut up."

"I'm glad it's me you're marrying, and you who's marrying me. Now I don't have to worry about a scumbag taking you from me."

"Jay" she said with a laugh, her head tilted upwards in delight, exposing her long, slender, rune-free neck. Just like the rest of her body. _Off topic._ Runes always fade from her body, they're never permanent and yet they last longer than any rune I've made.  _Focus._ "As long as you'll try to make this work. For us. For me." I looked her in the eye intensely, "Then I don't mind how we turn out or what gender the baby _if_ we have one, will be."

"Oh Lis. We're gonna be perfectly fine. And of course we'll have kids. We're too amazingly beautiful not to pass on these genes." I winked, "We'll be fine. After all. We're us." I said with a smirk. I looked behind her to see that it was already passed 2am. "But right now we need to sleep. We've had a long,  _long_ day."

"But we haven't finished talking." she argued with a slight yawn as I pulled her down towards the pillows again, this time with her back resting against my front and my arms wrapped tightly around her.

"What do we have left to talk about?" I asked as I pulled the duvet on top of us.

I pulled her closer to me as she said, "We have to talk about the cup. Valentine."

I sighed into her neck, "We can talk about Valentine and our escape later when we're up to our full strength."

"The Cup?"

I shrugged, "What about it?"

She looked unsure about whether she was gonna tell me but after a few moments of thinking she seemed to make up her mind. She rolled away from me before sitting up, I joined her as she raised her hands causing the room shimmer. 

I gave her a confused look, to which she explained, "I sound-proofed the room so no one can hear what we say next." I nodded in understanding and waited for her to reveal her secret. "The Cup it's-" she hesitated, "-it's fake."

I looked at her in shock, _"What!"_

She immediately clasped her hands over my mouth, _"Shush!!!"_ She looked me in the eye, "Are you going to be quiet if I remove my hands?"

I nodded my head and she released her grip on me, "What do you mean the Cup is fake?"

She shrugged sheepishly, "Well the Cup we found isn't the real one. Mom placed a replicate Cup in a card as a decoy."

"How long have you known this?" I interrogated.

She looked ashamed now as she admitted, "Since the night mom went missing." I tried to stench my look of betrayal but she must have seen it flash across my face. "I promised her Jace." She refused to look me in the eye, "I wanted to tell you all but mom didn't want me to tell anyone. Not even Clary…" she began rambling now, "Luke already knew but that was because he knew mom and he knew who I really was and that if anyone should protect the Cup it would be me."

"I get it Lis." I stopped her. "Thank you for telling me this but where's the real Cup?"

She smirked at me before waving her hand in a few complicated movements. Soon after, a familiar card appeared. She snapped her fingers and let the card fall into my waiting hands.

"The similaries are uncanny." I observed. 

She nodded happily, "Watch this." She plucked the card from my hand before plunging her hand into the card to retrieve the Cup. She handed me the real Cup.

"Woah…" I inspected the Cup for its finer details, "This looks exactly like the other Cup. It's amazing."

She smiled, "Mom's an amazing artist Jace. You'll love her." I smiled awkwardly at the reminder that my mom was her adoptive mother. She grabbed the Cup, placing it back into the card before flicking it out of existence once more.

"Where are you hiding the card?" I asked curiously.

She laughed lightly before smirking at me, "In your bedroom."

"What?!" 

She giggled even harder, "Yeah. I made a tiny vault in your room. I figured no one would look to the picture you have of us as kids for a rune." I blushed at the realisation that she knew, "It's cute." She reassured, "I forgot how happy we were back then."

"When did you make the vault?" 

"Around the time when you and Clary went against Alec and I." She shrugged nonchalantly.

I winced, "Sorry about that again."

She waved it off, "It's alright. When you guys left with the 'Cup'" she used her fingers to make air quotations, "I made a hole in the wall of your bedroom and placed the card in there. I have a similar vault in my bedroom and I used to switch the locations of the Cup between the two. Anyway, I reattached the piece of the wall with magic before sealing it with my magic and then a rune. To triple lock it, I ensured that you had to draw the rune hidden on the photo you have of us before you can attempt to open the vault." I looked at her in shock.  _How the hell did she manage this on her own?_

"What does this mean in terms of Valentine's army?"

She looked sad, "They're real. The first lot are at least." I nodded at the reminder of the events a couple of days ago.

I hated it whenever she was sad. I pulled her back into our lying position, "I think that's enough revelations for today."

"But we haven't finished talking about what this means for  _Clary_!"

"What about her?" I said gruffly.  _She sure knows how to make things awkward._

"We may not be biologically related but I spent almost 8 years of my life thinking she was my twin sister." She said sadly, "We don't have the same relationship that we used to but I still care about her feelings. I'm scared that we're going to hurt her. Or that I'll get hurt because of this. I don't want to be stuck in a loveless marriage."

"I'm not gonna lie Lis." I murmured into her neck as I struggled to pull my thoughts together, "I thought that what Clary and I had was love. I don't know what it is now. I know I care for you to what extent I don't know yet but  I'm still confused because apparently I have or had - I don't know - feelings for my own sister." I shuddered at the thought as she began to rub my hands, which lay on her stomach, in comfort.

"We don't have to talk about this now." she whispered, and I sighed in relief, "But thank you for at least trying to help me understand you." she brought my hands up and gave them a kiss, "I love you Jay. And I'll wait for you, however long it may take for you to love me back."

_I don't think it's gonna take as long as you think._ "Thank you Lis." I said with a grin she couldn't see, I reached over her to turn the lights off, plunging us into darkness. "As long as we trust one another, we're gonna be fine."

"I'll always trust you above anyone else Jay." she snuggled closer towards me, "Thanks for the talk Jay."

"Anytime Lis. Anytime."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I feel like I'm moving on really quickly but I wanted to progress with this season's events.**
> 
> **What do you guys think?**


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